I think I slept better that night with Elizabeth then I had for weeks. I called my mother first thing in the morning just so she wouldn't worry and she was glad I did. Elizabeth and I both got ready for school and headed in together in her car. She was giving me more self confidence then I had in a while and I actually focused on my classes most of the day.
I rode home from school with Sherri and before I left Elizabeth told me she would pick me up to take me to the JV game. I had dinner with my family and then headed to the game with her. My parents weren't very thrilled that I was going to another football game but I tried to convince them that it was my responsibility as a cheerleader.
They didn't like it very much but gave in eventually. At the JV game we were practically attached at the hip and it made me feel good that in front of others she treated me no different then she treated me in private.
I thought I would be uncomfortable if I was off on my own so I made effort to stay close to her and she never resisted or tried to find space away from me. It also was nice that the cheerleader sponsor went to all three games, freshman, JV and varsity so we sat with him and he again spent time talking and coaching me pointing out good and bad things some of the JV cheerleaders did.
I was relieved when the game was over and Elizabeth drove me home. There was a little bit of an awkward moment when we got home. She pulled the car to a stop in front of my house and we looked at each other to say goodnight. But who were we to each other? How should we end the night? I think she felt the same unsure feeling I did and I decided I didn't want her to have any doubt, so I leaned closer to her and closed my eyes.
That was all the hint she needed she leaned to me and we kissed. Nothing crazy, nothing too deep or passionate but not just a quick smack either. We kissed a long slow sensual kiss with our arms around each other. Enough as soon as we broke it, I looked at my house to see if anyone was watching. I blushed a little bit when I saw a curtain moving in the kitchen and I guessed my mother may have seen the kiss.
Elizabeth and I each said, "Goodnight," and I got out of the car heading into the house. As soon as I got into the house I yelled loud, "I'm home," and headed up the stairs to my room.
I was hoping to avoid any heavy talks but within minutes of me getting into my room and turning on music my mom popped her head in the door. "Tori can we talk a few minutes," she asked.
"Sure," I replied and turned the music back off. "I know it hasn't been easy for you with breaking up with Scott and all the other things going on in your life," she said but I could tell she wanted to go on.
She continued, "I don't want you to think I was spying on you, but with all that has happened I worry about you so when I heard the car pull up I looked out to make sure it was you and that you were okay." "Yes ma'am," I replied. She let out a sigh and I could tell she was uncomfortable with what she was wanting to ask, "Unless I was mistaken I ummm.
." She let out a sigh and then tried again, "What is your relationship with Elizabeth?" She asked but then went on, "Don't get me wrong, I think she is a fantastic girl and I'm very happy she has been there for you but unless things have changed a whole lot since I was your age that ummmm was a pretty.
. intense. . kiss." I let her question hang in the air a few minutes and thought about it. Honestly I had to think about it because I wasn't really sure myself. I must have blushed because my face felt warm.
I thought and thought trying to find the right words to answer her. "Mom. . I'm not real sure what our relationship, Elizabeth and mine, is right now, I know she is the best friend I have ever had and if it weren't for her I'm not sure how I would have made it through the last few weeks. But to tell you the truth we haven't really 'defined' our relationship as anything other then a friendship," I said.
"I just know that without Elizabeth I don't think I could have shown my face in school at all lately. I know without her I could not go to the ummm. .support group but she has gone with me to each one so I wouldn't feel so alone," I said.
My mom interjected, "Tori what I don't want you to do is to think you need to be in a relationship to be happy. Please don't rush from one relationship to another." "I'm not mom," I replied. "Well again I think it might be a little different now then it was when I was your age but I do know enough to know that.
. ." she started and then stopped and started again, "Tori your father and I try to be open minded and to support you girls with love. I cant say that I ever would have thought that you would even consider. . that type of relationship and I want you to think about how difficult it can be.
So many people will look at you and judge you and say mean and nasty things. Just keep that in mind if that's what you decide you want because society is not completely ready for all that yet." I let out a sigh listening to her stumble around and thought about what she was trying to say.
I decided to give it a try and started talking, "Mom I'm not looking at my relationship with Elizabeth as any type of thing.
We're just two people who care about each other. I like spending time with her because I can talk to her, and trust her and I know she listens to me without judging me." She replied, "Tori, I know things are different now days then when I was your age but there is one thing I need you to understand. As a friend, and being a girl like you, its appropriate for you to sleep over with her, or her to sleep over with you, but, if Elizabeth becomes more then just a 'friend' then we would have to treat her like we would a boy.
Obviously at your age it would not be appropriate for you to have a boyfriend sleep over with you. So the same would apply if Elizabeth was to be your 'girlfriend.' Do you understand?" I let out a loud sigh and I knew she could tell I was getting frustrated. "Mom, you're reading too much into it, it was just a kiss goodnight, nothing more.
Please don't ask me to not be friends with her I don't think I could take that right now," I said getting close to tears. "Baby, I'm not saying that at all, I'm just worried about you and don't want to see you go from one relationship to another.
You need to learn who you are first before getting serious with someone else," she said. "I knowwwwww," I replied. She let out a sigh and said back to me very softly, "Tori, if you knew everything, then you would not be pregnant right now. Obviously you were not ready or mature enough to handle what was going on in your life. Now you are going to have to make a decision that will impact you for the rest of your life. I didn't want that for either you or your sister but there is nothing we can do to change that now.
But I also expect you to be careful about how serious you get with Elizabeth especially if it becomes something more than friendship.
Do you understand?" I let out a sigh of frustration but then nodded. I understood what she was trying to tell me, but it didn't make me feel better.
It made me believe I needed to hide whatever my relationship with Elizabeth was going to become. I knew one thing, I needed her in my life right now one way or another. She then started on another subject that also made me uncomfortable, "Tori, your father and I have been trying to give you a little time to think about what you might want to do, but we're going to need to sit down and discuss what you intend to do about this pregnancy soon.
It won't just go away by ignoring it so we expect you to be ready to discuss it soon, okay? I nodded not at all ready to discuss it right then. But I knew she was right. She then leaned in and gave me a kiss on my forehead and said, "I love you baby girl with all my heart and am still always very proud of you, okay?" Again I nodded not wanting to start crying. It was so hard to try to talk about those things with my mom when I hardly knew what to think of them myself.
What was my relationship with Elizabeth? What did Elizabeth want it to be? Was she really a lesbian? What did that really mean? Does it really matter if she is one? If she is one, and I become her girlfriend, does that make me a lesbian too? What would everyone at school think of us if we were girlfriends? What would my parents think? What would Sherri think? I didn't want to cause them any further hardship then I already had. I knew my reputation in school right now had to be very hard on Sherri.
How would she feel if it came out that her little sister was. . a dyke. God the ugly words people come up with for things they don't understand. Hell I didn't understand it myself and can hardly imagine what I would think if just one of my friends was gay. But maybe one was, Elizabeth. Why is everyone so judgmental of everyone else? Again I got my mind all worked up at bedtime a stupid thing to do.
But I got ready for bed and tried to clear my mind, but still had thoughts of my kiss goodnight with Elizabeth and my conversation with my mother. *********** After another rough night of sleep I got up exhausted in the morning. It was now Friday, another football game day so that gave me a bit of an energy boost.
I got up and took my shower and took my uniform out of the closet. There it was pressed and hanging so nice and neat. I smiled thinking to myself how wonderful my mother could be. Even though I was a little tired I found myself skipping down the steps and I made a point to go over to her fixing breakfast and to kiss her on the cheek and whispered, "Thank you." And then I flopped down at the breakfast table feeling a little bit hungry.
She again had prepared for me French toast, my favorite and it smelled wonderful. For the first time in ages I was feeling hungry and I poured on syrup and ate every bite and drank down a glass of milk. Sherri was not far behind me and had French toast as well. After eating we headed off to school again and once inside my day started out right as Elizabeth was there waiting for me also in her varsity uniform. We walked down the hall like we owned the place and I felt better today then I had in a while.
I did have to make a quick stop at the bathroom as I was feeling sick to my stomach and I made it into the bathroom stall in time to vomit up my breakfast. Besides that I was having a good morning and had managed to study some for the test I was expecting and it felt pretty easy so I had hopes of maybe a B.
I then realized that in middle school I normally got almost all A's so I felt a little disappointed in myself for feeling good about the potential for 'maybe a B.' At lunch we sat with the varsity cheerleading squad and participated in the conversation and things were beginning to feel more normal for a change.
I ate a little of my lunch but didn't want to throw up again so I limited how much I ate.
The afternoon got off to a good start too as I got a B- on a pop quiz and I hoped things had changed for the better. After my first afternoon class, things got intense as again everyone was talking about the police being on campus again.
This time they left with Coach Kahanamoku. Of course the rumor mill was going crazy and I heard all kind of crazy theories as to why he may have been arrested of course I knew the real reason was because I had given his name as my rapist. It was hard for me to focus on the last classes of the day and I was glad when the bell rang dismissing us from school. Elizabeth saw me in time to tell me bye and that she'd see me that evening at the game.
Sherri drove us home. I worked on homework a while when I got home and then just listened to music before heading to the game.
As usual my whole family went to the game to support me and I found that made me feel guilty like I was forcing them to be there. The stands were almost full and as usual I felt the roar of the crowd shake the stands. The power and excitement of the game was again amazing and we led cheer after cheer for the fans in the stands. The score went back and forth between the two teams but towards the end of the game we fell further and further behind. This time there was no miracle comeback and the coach did not run out onto the field at any point during the game.
Without him for the first time this season we lost a game. The crowd was stunned and everyone was down and as we were packing up our pom poms and other stuff Scott came walking directly towards us with several of the football team following.
He stopped directly in front of Elizabeth and me and began to go off on us, "Are you two happy, are you satisfied yet? Your lies and deceit have caused this. If we lose more games this year and fail to win the championship it will be thanks to the two of you. You and your fake evidence and you twisting the truth to make things seem worse then they are, well I hope you're happy. I hope this is what you wanted. I hope. . I hope you get what you deserve." As he said all of this he looked directly at Elizabeth and me.
I was stunned by his anger and the hatred in his voice but even more I was stunned further by what happened next as I saw the girl who always knew how to maintain her composure lose that composure and go off back at Scott. Elizabeth went off and said, "This is no ones fault Scott except for the guilty parties and may the shoes fall where they may.
You're damn right I gave the police the evidence and I hope he rots in jail. You belong in there next to him and maybe you'll get yours when it comes out that you got Tori pregnant you bastard.
So shut the hell up before you end up in the cell next to him you manipulative dirty piece of shit." With that she turned around and walked away. Leaving me there stunned my mouth open and half the school watching. Now everyone knew I was pregnant. Tears began to pour down my cheeks and I turned and followed her finding my way to my parent's car through teary eyes.
We all got into the car and I couldn't believe what had just happened. I couldn't believe my best friend had just announced to half the student body that I was pregnant. I rode home in a quiet car except for my own sobs. Why would she have done that? Why would she have announced that to everyone?
We got home and I headed up to my room stunned and mortified at what had just happened. I sat in the silence listening to my memory of the two of them going off on each other. ********** Then the silence was broken and my phone rang. It rang a second time before I answered. "Tori, are you okay," Elizabeth said, "I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that." I sat quietly not knowing what to say. "I didn't mean to do that," she said again. I sniffled fighting back the tears.
Not really sure what to say to her. "But you did," I whispered, "You said it in front of everyone, you told everyone I was pregnant." For the first time ever I heard her do something I never heard before she began to cry, "I'm sorry Tori, I didn't mean to hurt you." With that she hung up the phone. I was so upset I hardly knew what to do with myself.
Why did she do that? Now everyone knew. I couldn't believe this was happening. I sat in the quiet a little while and then the phone rang again. I wasn't sure I wanted to answer. But I picked up on the second ring. "Tori, are you there. . this is Scott," he said and I was stunned. I couldn't answer I just sat there stunned. Stunned by what had happened, stunned by the fact that it was him on the phone.
I had expected it to be Elizabeth but it wasn't, it was Scott. He continued, "Are you really pregnant?" I let out a sigh and I guess he heard it because he sat quietly for a few moments waiting for my answer, "Yes," I said softly. "I have to see you, I have to talk to you, come over to my house. . now," he said. I sat there quietly not sure what to say thinking about what he was asking. "Scott I can't, its late my parents wont let me come over," I said softly. "Sneak out. . I have to see you.
. I have to talk to you about this," he said. I again sat there in silence thinking there was no way I could do that. But he continued, "Please, if I ever meant anything to you at all you'll come over and talk to me about this.
. Now." I was then very surprised when I heard the line go dead. He had hung up. He had told me he had to see me and then he hung up the phone.
I tried calling him back to tell him I couldn't come over but I only got his voicemail. I tried two more times but still he did not answer. I didn't know what to do. I got ready for bed and got into my bed and then tried two more times. But each time I tried I got his voicemail. I lay on my bed listening to the sounds of the house listening to everyone settle into bed. And then in my head I heard his words echo in my mind, "Please, if I ever meant anything to you at all you'll come over and talk to me about this.
. NOW." I couldn't stand it why did he want to see me it just didn't make any sense. Against my better judgment I got up and got dressed and snuck out of my house and headed to his house with everyone else in bed at my home. I walked down the street by myself towards his home.
The garage door was open and the lights were on. I kept walking up the driveway and into the garage and there he was my ex-boyfriend Scott along with his best friend Mike. ********* "Tori, Tori, Tori Tori," Scott said as he saw me and came to me grabbing my hand pulling me into the garage.
I could tell he had been drinking. "Wow you're so pretty aren't you," he said looking me up and down. "Godddddd, I can't believe it you're here I miss you," he said and threw his arms around my neck hugging me. "So yeah wow, so are you umm, really um you know.
. . pregnant," he asked? As he said this he knelt down on the floor in front of me and pulled my tank top up exposing my stomach to him. He kissed me on the belly and then rubbed his hand on my stomach. "Wow is there really a baby inside there," he asked still rubbing my belly and tugging my jean shorts down some to expose my stomach more.
"God you just look and feel and smell fantastic Tori I really miss you and love you," he said to me and Mike got up and walked over to him lifting him back up to his feet. "He's had a few beers," Mike said looking a little embarrassed.
"Yeah I have but Mike can you believe our little girl Tori here is pregnant, holy shit," he said sounding so strange. He then walked over to me again and put his arms around me and kissed me hard on the mouth.
Like I was still his girl friend like he had never broke up with me. I tried to pull back to get away from him but he was determined and I was a little nervous to try too hard so I kissed him back for a few minutes. "Oh Tori have I told you how much I have missed you," he said.
And he put his arms around me and pulled me in close. "You're so, so pretty I need to see you again," he said and began to pull at my shirt. I tried to keep him from pulling it up and off but he kept pulling and I didn't want my shirt to tear. He got it up over my head but it was still on my arms. "Scott don'tttttt," I whined. "I need to see you," he said and unhooked my bra. I tried holding it still up against me. "I think they look bigger," he said as he tugged at my bra trying to expose my breasts.
"Scott I didn't come over here for this, I thought you wanted to talk about me being pregnant," I said. "I do baby but I need to see you again, you're so beautiful," he said still sounding drunk. I couldn't remember ever seeing him like this, he was like a drunk little boy. "I think it's so sexy that you're pregnant Tori. It makes me want to fuck you so much and make you more pregnant," he said laughing. "There's no such thing Scott now let go," I protested trying to pull back from him even with him holding my clothing trying to pull them off.
But he wouldn't give up and kept pulling till he had my shirt off my arms and my bra too. "There that's better don't you think," he said looking at my chest now that I was topless. "No," I protested. He pulled me over to one of the stools in his garage and he sat on the stool pulling me onto his lap.
He kept rubbing my stomach and then moved his hand onto my breast. "Yep, yep they're bigger, and they're beautiful," Scott said. "Wow it's so sexy that you're pregnant," he said. He held me there on his lap petting me like you would a puppy and I felt ridiculous. "Scott, I gotta go!" I said. "No, no not yet so ummm, what are you going to do with the baby," Scott asked finally talking about what I thought he called me to come over for.
But even as he did this he continued to fondle my breast. I looked at the ground still unsure myself with what to do I said, "I don't know Scott I haven't decided," He reached down and began to rub my stomach. "I'd love to watch you have the baby Tori," Scott said surprising me.
He kept rubbing my stomach and kept pushing his hand at the waistband of my shorts. "What do you think I should do," I said looking at Scott. He exhaled and rubbed his chin thinking about it a moment. "Have the baby, then your boobs can give milk," he said and lifted one of my breasts up to his lips and sucked on my nipple.
It felt so weird for him to suck on my nipple as my chest was so sensitive. He kissed and sucked on one breast and then the other and I felt stupid for even sneaking out and coming over there. I hopped up to my feet and tried to pull away from him. "Wait," he protested holding on to me. "I need you baby," he said and began to pull at my shorts working to unbutton them.
"Scott. . nooooo," I protested but he kept fumbling at the button finally getting it unbuttoned. I was very surprised as Mike came over to us and started helping Scott. I think he must have been more sober and I got very nervous as he easily took hold of my shorts and panties and pulled them straight down my legs. Scott looked at me and smiled and kissed me again this time passionately. I was surprised when I felt him reach under my knees and pick me up.
The shorts and panties and my flip flops fell off my feet and he carried me over to a bench and laid me on my back kissing my mouth deep immediately. I tried to push him back off me but he just kept kissing me and his upper body was lying on mine.
I was shocked and surprised when I then felt him touch me between my legs and before I could find any way to protest I felt him push into me. I was so angry at him as I had no intention of doing this but his mouth on my mouth kept me from protesting.
He moved his hips over and over and soon I felt him fully inside me and there was no going back. I couldn't believe he was doing this, my ex-boyfriend having sex with me after finding out I was pregnant. It was so weird, considering he had broken up with me like he had but here he was moving inside me over and over.
It felt so weird doing this and I was embarrassed as I realized it also felt good. Even though I was angry at him for doing it, I liked how strong he felt, for being able to just lift me and carry me there. I loved how strong he felt to hold me and kiss me so confidently like it was his right and I was ashamed how good it felt to feel him moving inside me.
Even as he increased his intensity and was doing it harder it still felt good and primal and oddly natural. I don't know if it was the hormones from being pregnant or if it had just been a while or what it was but it felt good to feel him inside me. I was then stunned as I felt him pull out of me and shift on top of me, he was still kissing me and I couldn't figure out what was going on, then felt hips get between my legs again and felt a cock push inside me but I could tell it wasn't Scott as his body was shifted to the side.
But I felt a cock again push inside me and work deeper and deeper into my body. My only guess was that it was Mike. I tried to turn to look but Scott wouldn't let me, he just kept kissing me and stroking my hair and holding my upper body down on the bench. Scott kept focused on me and on kissing me as I felt what had to be Mike stroke in and out of my body. I wasn't happy about this it just went to proving that with Scott it had nothing to do with love but here was someone else inside my body.
It felt so weird to be held there like that, kissing his mouth but not really even sure who was inside me. As usual with him I had no control or say even over my own body.
The cock kept moving inside me over and over rubbing inside me very deep.
I kept trying to jerk and move my body but it was of no use as the two of them easily kept me pinned there. I was then relieved as I felt him begin to cum feeling a little disgusted as I had no way to be really sure that it was Mike but I was relieved after he came as I felt him pull out of me. Scott didn't hesitate and shifted back onto me and slowly pushed his cock back inside me. Within moments he was again moving inside my body filling me inside. He worked his hips hard and fast and I felt him work deeper and deeper into me.
It wasn't much longer before I felt him begin to cum inside my body also and he grunted as he shot his loads of cum inside me. He again kissed me deeply as he finished and hugged me tight to him. "I gave your baby a cum shower," he said laughing looking at me.
I rolled my eyes not sure what to think about my drunk ex-boyfriend knowing I shouldn't have done this with him. He lay on me dead weight and within a few minutes was snoring.
And there I was naked on his bench stuck under him. I looked up and saw Mike looking at us shaking his head. He then drank down a beer and wiped his mouth and flopped down in a lounge chair. I was stuck on my back with Scott lying on top of me.
I stayed there a while till I got tired of being pinned on my back. Then I started tapping Scott, poking him trying to wake him. Finally I got his attention and he woke up looking down at me. He kissed me and smiled at me but still looked drunk. "I need to go home," I told him and it took a minute for that to register but he finally got off me and let me get up. I searched around and found my clothes and told him goodnight and headed for home.
It was the middle of the night so I walked fast but as I got closer to my house I got scared as I noticed the lights were on. As I got to our sidewalk there was no doubt lights were on and I walked up the walk scared.
I put my key in the door and turned the lock opening the door. "Oh my God here she is," my mom burst out and hugged me. "Where the hell have you been," my father yelled at me? I stayed in the hug with my mom a while to give myself a chance to think.
She stopped hugging me and pushed me back. I didn't want to tell the truth about where I had been because I didn't want to tell them I was at Scott's but I didn't know what else to say. "Were you with Elizabeth," my mom asked? Not thinking too fast or clear I nodded. "So she's home safe," my mom asked? "What do you mean home safe," I asked? "Her mother called she never got home last night after the game.
Her mother is worried sick," my mom said. I stared at her dumbfounded not sure what to say. "So you were with Elizabeth," my mom asked again. This time I knew I couldn't say I had been when I hadn't. "No ma'am," I replied. "But I thought you said you were with her?
Where were you," she asked? My parents both stared at me so intently I felt like I was under a microscope. "I. . I was. . I had to talk to Scott. . about the baby," I said Both my parents starred at me stunned at where I was. Finally my father broke the silence asking, "In the middle of the night, you had to talk to that ass in the middle of the night?" I started crying feeling attacked feeling so stressed.
I collapsed to the floor sobbing at what my father had said and the whole situation. My father picked me up and carried me up to my room as my mom followed. He set me on my bed and then my mom continued. "Do you have any idea where Elizabeth is," my mom asked? I shook my head no not knowing where she might be. "Well you are grounded till further notice you don't go over to boyfriend's houses in the middle of the night," my father said. And turned and stormed out of my room.
"You had us scared to death Tori. I don't know what you were thinking. I don't hardly know who you are anymore you're doing things I don't understand," my mom said looking quite upset. She continued, "We are trying to be patient and to understand your feelings but you do not leave the house in the middle of the night for any reason.
Do you understand me young lady?" I nodded and sniffled and let out a loud sigh. She shook her head and headed out of my room turning out the big room light leaving me only with my lamp on.
I changed back into my night clothes wishing I could take a hot shower but knowing that would only draw more attention. I got into bed and turned out my light and then thought of the question of the night.
Knowing it had been what got my parents up. Where was Elizabeth? To be continued.